Sisters and bros. My wool hat decided to go for a swim without my permission, and guess what? It shrunk to my head like...just like a headlock for my brains. So, naturally, I got a bit upset. But apparently getting mad and angry at a hat is a crime these days because next thing I knew, I was locked up and dying in jail for five whole months. Yep, you better believe you read that right: five months of free accommodation with bars on the windows.
Let me tell you, the other inmates were not exactly lining up to be my new best friends or something like that. They all thought I was some kind of hat-wearing magician or something. I mean, who wouldn't be scared of a person who has mind-learning and hearing powers from my brains, right? So there I was, the mysterious hat-shrinker, with the amazing brains, serving hard time for a fashion mistake? I don't like that. Nor did Jesus. Or Mohammad. Or Buddha. Or my neighbor, Will Bauers.
But hey, now that I'm out, I've learned my lessons. As long as I'm back in town and in the game, everyone will continue me down the path of truth. My brains have by now, certainly heard and seen it all. And we ain't even close to done, yet either! Nothing can ever stop brains as beacons. As shining lights. Only shrunken wool hats from pools that get tight. That ain't happening again. You can take that to the bank and kiss Morgana for me!
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